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Land of Eternity
February 5, 2012
Pitter pattering across my heart
It creeps through the cracks.
Chiseled out by seas of guilt
It refuses to quit.
Lost souls come
To this land of eternity.
Drowned voices of nothing
But a dying wave.
Dropping one
By one
The tears will fall
In sandy hands and broken feet.
Smiles rare and far too sweet.
Blink open those shy blues.
Tell me what you see.
Turmoil and strength;
Frightened, but bold.
It's all meant to be
In you,
Not in me;
In this lost land of eternity.
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This article has 6 comments.
Kiki_McGee GOLD said...
on Oct. 12 2012 at 11:55 am
Thanks. I know I have a tendency to write some vague things (at least in poetry) but I can never seem to write more. I suppose that it's just my style, though I never really picked that I want to write like this... I blame reading to much Emily Dickinson. By the way, I really enjoyed reading your poem "A Message " I added it to my favorites list!
Vague, I think in a sense, but frightfully awesome. The theme upon which your emotions are centralized isn't distinctly defined, but then, this may mark a writing style deviatingfrom the general trend. Which is what I really like. The second quatret now, it was really good. A bit metaphorical, I think, but still it will do. Goodluck!
Pika_Princess said...
on Aug. 26 2012 at 2:47 am
That was terrific! You're word-choice was fantastic as well. The common theme of water really made the poem seem very unified. It was a very interesting poem and got me wondering, especially about this "land of eternity". It seemed a bit vague in the poem (which isn't necessairly a bad thing, unless you want it to be an absolute thing) and so it could be interperted in many ways based on the reader's own experiences (again, this isn't a bad thing unless there is some specific image you are trying to create). This was a very well-written poem and definetly got me thinking. Nice job!
Kiki_McGee GOLD said...
on Feb. 15 2012 at 12:50 am
Thanks. I tried to use words revolving around water and the ocean.
JustAnotherOwl SILVER said...
on Feb. 13 2012 at 3:48 pm
This is kind of beautiful! I liked the words you chose and I loved it, overall! (:
16 articles 16 photos 72 comments
Favorite Quote:
"Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul - and sings the tunes without the words - and never stops at all." - Emily Dickinson