never again
anticipation grows
my raised knuckles ready
perched upon air
waiting for the opportune moment
to knock upon her door,
rapping my own beat hoping
that it will soon be ours.

three tentative taps later I wait
silence pulses in my ear,
deafening.
anxiety whispers
she’ll never come.
the need to pace itches
at my feet as the war
between hope and rejection rages
around me on her porch.

three more half-hearted beats.
hope that she’ll come shrinks
back into the depths of the battle
no longer a true contender.
a bead of sweat trickles down
my forehead and
I realize that rejection
has won, again.

now it is my heart that is
beating, tapping, knocking, rapping
against my breathless chest.
taking one last glance at the door
that rendered my surrender
I hastily retreat.