Daddy's Womb This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

By
i asked my father if i could swim,
and he said that i would drown.
The Sea would imprison me – he said
if my feet had left the ground.

So i walked out to the water,
and cried out – how ’bout now!
He said, a little bit further, Son,
and then you’ll leave the ground.

i stepped on sand then stone,
from hollow ground to sturdy.
The sky was at my level as I
gazed at the birdie.

The Sea brought me a new idea,
the urge to flee to the high.

i asked my Father if i could fly,
and he said, sure, Son – go try.

i jumped as high as i could.
Still, i landed on the ground.
i saw my Father pull on a chain,
then i knew that i was bound.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.






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Mclovin..720 3391294 said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 12:09 pm
I thought the peom was not good at all. It was very whiny and almost seemed like he was attacking his dad.
 
Just Alex said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 12:08 pm
This poem was depressing and i felt pretty bad.
 
Teen Ink Moderator said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 12:02 pm
Please keep your comments to yourself. Thank you.
 
steff123456789 replied...
Mar. 29, 2010 at 10:57 am
THATS WHY WE BE COMMENTING ON THIS. TO GET OUT COMMENTS OUT TO THE TEENINK WRITING WORLD. SO DON'T TELL ME TO KEEP THEM TO MYSELF. I'LL BE LETTING YOU KNOW WHAT MY COMMENTS ARE.
 
McBillJones3 said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 11:58 am
This poem was depressing
 
Mizgusie said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 11:52 am
I like the poem. I think that you should focus on capitilization more often.
 
IrUNESCAPE HARD. said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 11:49 am
I love runescape, but I love this poem more.
 
deathismyfavoritewordbutmygreatestfear replied...
Mar. 26, 2010 at 5:23 pm

nice. I used to ♥ runescape 2.....then I grew up.....(no offense) but I do like this poem. If you looks through the lines, you see the story behind it. People who dont c this, obviously don't have an iner persepective.

P.S. could you guys check out my stories and poems and everything. i dont have many things up, but id really like some comments so that I could improve. Thank you :)

 
whatthef replied...
Mar. 29, 2010 at 11:01 am

alright, what is going on. runescape sucks. and that person was totally kidding when they put "i love runescape, but i love this poem more" NO ONE LOVES RUNESCAPE OR THIS POEM BECAUSE QUITE FRANKLY THIS POEM MAKES NO SENSE IN PARTS AND IT ALSO IS DEPRESSING AS F AND IT KIND OF MAKES ME WANT TO SHOOT MY DAD EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A LOVELY DAD. omfg, what is wrong with you.

deathisyourfavoritewordbutgreatestfear,

okay why is it your favorite word. its not even a cool word. i have ... (more »)

 
cegsie44 said...
Mar. 25, 2010 at 7:00 am
truely a magnificant poem- very different, it pulled me in :) great job!
 
abbey92 said...
Mar. 24, 2010 at 10:17 pm
i really like this. its like they the rents tell u can be what ever you want, but only if they aprove of it.
its god i feel you
 
Doyouhavetheories This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 20, 2010 at 7:13 am
This poem is practically exploding with emotions, and so little words to describe them. I love it.
 
SolvoAnimus said...
Mar. 19, 2010 at 3:00 am
New York! REPRESENT! lol
 
rh423 said...
Mar. 19, 2010 at 12:52 am
this was good! i feel like it would be good as lyrics
 
robert5512344 said...
Mar. 18, 2010 at 9:16 am
that was terrible
 
BleedingRose replied...
Mar. 18, 2010 at 10:52 am
I didn't think so. You comments are supposed to be constructive, would you at least say why you didn't like this? everyone has different tastes.
 
Shabanana said...
Mar. 17, 2010 at 11:04 am
I really enjoyed so poem so thank you!! I wrote a poem also about people not understanding how important family and friends are and it is also very deep. Check it out i think you might like it. its called Reflections.
 
yesimdarrian101 said...
Mar. 15, 2010 at 5:28 pm
I thought this poem was incredible. I can really relate to feeling like my parents are encouraging me, yet holding me back at the same time. amazing job. :)
 
Bree14 said...
Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Great job!!!!!
 
OliviaMiaKing said...
Mar. 15, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Wonderful.
 
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