Diagnosis | Teen Ink

Diagnosis

August 30, 2011
By jled21 SILVER, Dix Hills, New York
jled21 SILVER, Dix Hills, New York
7 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's your world, I'm just living in it."


Do you feel vulnerable and open, yet giddy and safe? It’s like your falling deeper everyday with no way to stop it, but you know you don’t want it to stop. You step aside and let your mind and body fall. Your thumbs are blistered from feverish texts. Texts that you must answer because you are bombarded. Texts that you don’t mind despite that they make your phone constantly buzz. But when you feel that buzz it makes you happy. These texts can randomly make you smile. When you change for bed you still have their scent lingering on your clothes. And you stand in your room for a second, taking in the scents, and again you can’t help but smile. You miss them as soon as you leave them. You think about them wherever you are, whatever situation. They are always accompanying you through the good and the bad because they have etched their name into your heart. You feel scared like it has never happened. Scared of what is to come. You worry about them. What if something happens? Something while you’re not around. You think the worst. You scare yourself. Then you hear from them and feel slightly better. Sometimes you wish you never met them at all. So you wouldn’t have to worry. And think about how hurt you would be if anything ever happens preventing you from being together. If one day you are not together. It is inevitable eventually isn’t it? You wish your wish came true. Then you realize how stupid you are for thinking that. You become angered at yourself. But you realize that you were just acting with compassion. You realize how lucky you were to meet them. How it was possibly one of the greatest moments of your life. You’re ready to take a risk. Your mind is cluttered with thoughts, but you don’t care. You are just counting down the days until you see them next. Counting down the minutes until you will go to sleep and they will be with you in your dreams. Counting down the seconds until you feel that buzz and get that text in return. A text that will only display but three short words, but three short words that will make all the difference. That will make you beam so big and bright that you will challenge the sun. That will make you want to jump for joy like an elementary child. You’ll want to go outside and scream. Scream a proclamation. You want everyone to know how you feel. You are with them again. Both lying together on the floor. Arms wrapped around each other tightly with a grip that seems indestructible. You look into each others eyes. You don’t have to say a word. There is nothing to be said. The T.V. is off. The radio is off. Your phone is off. Silence fills the room. It is pure perfection. As you stare at each other you see each imperfection as perfect. You have no desire for food anymore, or water, or learning, or money, or anything. You don’t need anything except the person lying across from you. You will never let go. You vow to never let go. You wish you could just lie there forever. Nothing else matters anymore. You want to lie there forever.
Diagnosis = You are in love.



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