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Disclaimer:

July 17, 2011
By Anonymous

CAUTION:

Do not ignore disclaimer.
Do not mispronounce.
Do not lie about owning this product.
Do not look directly at celestial body.
Do not apply for the FBI’s permission without permission from the FBI.
Do not hug teddy bear.
Do not read body language.
Do not pretend to be what you actually are.
Do not lie about what you actually are.
Do not confuse evil with good.
Do not confuse good with evil.
Do not confuse.
Do not detonate nuclear weapon.
Do not punch sibling.
Do not touch.
Do not ingest.
Do not cause Apocalypse.
Do not use product without protective goggles.
Do not use product with protective goggles.
Do not use product near flame.
Do not use product.

CAUTION: Living may be fatal. Do not live without first consulting a physician.

Do not read disclaimer.


The author's comments:
CAUTION: Do not try to make sense of this poem.

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This article has 10 comments.


on Nov. 11 2021 at 5:32 pm
WolfGurl PLATINUM, Not A Real Place, Indiana
20 articles 5 photos 177 comments

Favorite Quote:
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. –Anatole France.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. –Josh Billings

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.- George Carlin

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. —Franklin D. Roosevelt

Never lose. Either win, or learn. - Me

LOVE IT SO MUCH

Squeaks BRONZE said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 2:44 pm
Squeaks BRONZE, Glen Allen, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some people just don't know when to quit." --from the back of my XC team's 200 summer mile club T-shirt

I just took that way too seriously, didn't I? ;) I looked back at it and it was all of a sudden just really funny. Great point.

Squeaks BRONZE said...
on Jul. 29 2011 at 2:42 pm
Squeaks BRONZE, Glen Allen, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Some people just don't know when to quit." --from the back of my XC team's 200 summer mile club T-shirt

You've got a couple great points there, Jade. You've got a great talent for irony-- and I love your caution. Well, actually, sometimes I'm afraid of how true it is. So true, but so oxymoronic, that we live to die. Except, that's a terrible way to put it. We live, at risk of dying, but not to die, we live to live, obviously. Dying just comes in turn.

Thanks for posting.


on Jul. 25 2011 at 11:46 pm
CarrieAnn13 GOLD, Goodsoil, Other
12 articles 10 photos 1646 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." --Marcus Aurelius

This is awesome!  I actually laughed aloud when reading this (my mother thinks I have issues now).  Great poem!  I love the quirky sense of humour.

on Jul. 23 2011 at 8:05 am
Writomania PLATINUM, New Delhi, Other
22 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What really does not kill you, will only make you stronger"- Kanye West
"If there was no electricity, we would've had to watch the television by candle light"- Joe Jonas
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger

This made me laugh out loud. Your writing is weird in a weird way. Its not conventional... its different. This is what i like about it. :)

on Jul. 19 2011 at 8:44 pm
RedvinesWTHCantTheyDo GOLD, Zephyrhills, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 154 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You make one more comment like that I will wrap you in a tortilla shell and eat you as a snack, maybe with some nice pico de gillo."~ Lauren Lopez in Starship
"If you don't die for something, I'll kill you for nothing."~ Lauren Lopez in Starship

Hahaha I really love this. It's odd but in a good way. It doesn't make sense but it does. I like stuff like that. It's almost like Alice In Wonderland but not at all lol :)