Nothing | Teen Ink


July 8, 2011
By ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments

Each day, you’re wearing away
Your flesh and your fat; your mind and your soul
Pound by pound it rips away pigments of who you are
Days spent counting calories and fighting them off
Until you are only a body, nothing to suggest there is
A person cradled inside of those frail bones
And what person starves them self of all happiness
in search of happiness?
You wake up, and repeat the actions, like a skeleton set on autopilot
Food; trash, fingers; throat, body; sweat, eyes; cry
There is nothing left of you;
You are a disorder

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This article has 62 comments.

on Jul. 24 2011 at 9:52 pm
TwasBrilling BRONZE, Staunton, Va, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk" -H.W. Hegel

"Words are our most inexhaustable source of magic' -Albus Dumbledore

I agree about the commas, but you really packed alot of emotion into this!!

on Jul. 23 2011 at 11:18 pm
NinjaGirl BRONZE, Valley City, North Dakota
1 article 0 photos 202 comments

Favorite Quote:
The only thing holding us back in life is our desire to stay where we are and not venture further.
~Some random person on the Internet :P

The only criticism I have is your use of commas and semicolons in line ten. Other than that, love it!

on Jul. 23 2011 at 8:22 pm
FinalFreak BRONZE, Middlebury, Connecticut
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

I love this! It's full of gripping imagery and flows very well.  I also like lines 7 and 8, because while they are different from the imagery before and after, it doesn't break the flow and further fleshes out the theme. Very well done! =D

on Jul. 23 2011 at 7:42 pm
freeflow23 GOLD, Durham, North Carolina
15 articles 0 photos 96 comments

Favorite Quote:
Saul saw Goliath as too big to kill. David saw he was too big to miss.

Very well said and powerful. "There is nothing left of you; You are a disorder"

ams98 said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 6:47 pm
ams98, Brighton, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 38 comments
this is really well written, it focuses on wat a lot of ppl go through today:) Well done...keep writing:)

SmilyAlly said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 3:31 pm
I really love this! I'm recovering from Bulimia and this just describes it perfectly. It's a huge struggle and at times dissapointing and desperate and everything you put into this. I wish this would be published because I think more people need to learn what ED is really like. Amazing writing. This was beautiful.

CarolynQ GOLD said...
on Jul. 23 2011 at 10:39 am
CarolynQ GOLD, Manalapan, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 220 comments
This is some heavy stuff. You voice it well. Good job!

on Jul. 23 2011 at 8:53 am
Hazel-daisy GOLD, --, Other
19 articles 0 photos 324 comments

Favorite Quote:
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else - Erna Bombeck

In three words i can sum up everything I've learned in life: it goes on -Robert Frost

Live, Love, Laugh - ______

Hope, Love, breathe <3 - Me

i really like this, i think its really well written and its 100% true...5/5 :)

.Izzy. BRONZE said...
on Jul. 22 2011 at 4:04 pm
.Izzy. BRONZE, Broadview Heights, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 388 comments
This is very well written! That last line was the perfect ending. This poem shows that they are not only just hurting their body, but also who they are. Good job!

on Jul. 22 2011 at 12:05 pm
towritelove37 GOLD, Kewanna, Indiana
16 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
You can't always get what you want...

This is really good. Different, but good. I really liked it(: Nice flow.

on Jul. 21 2011 at 10:29 pm
TheHangingGirl BRONZE, Winter Haven, Florida
1 article 1 photo 250 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Poets utter great and wise things that they themselves can not comprehend."

I really like it . 

on Jul. 21 2011 at 11:22 am
SecretFlame PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
20 articles 1 photo 373 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I have a life. I just choose to ignore it."
-one of my friends

This is very good! It has a really nice rhythm and flow. Great job! :)

M.Lizeth GOLD said...
on Jul. 20 2011 at 8:28 pm
M.Lizeth GOLD, Santa Fe Springs, California
12 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
My heart is blind, that so it can love the soul that is too bright for the eyes to see.

I really like this. I can feel what I could intepret is the speaker's emotions; anger, depression, desperation, and even worry. I really like the metaphor "pound by pound it rips away pigments of who you are". You are a good writer, so keep writing! (:

on Jul. 20 2011 at 1:43 pm
redhairCat PLATINUM, Pebble Beach, California
47 articles 20 photos 411 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I can do anything!"

I really liked the second half of it - it had great descriptions. I especially liked "And what person starves themself of all happiness/ in search of happiness?" I thought that the first part of your poem could have used a more attention getting beginning. You're on the right track, though. I like the way that you handled the message.

on Jul. 19 2011 at 5:41 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments

"she" was never obese, maybe you mistook "pound by pound" the wrong way? idk, either way, thankyou for feedback! [:

i shall check out some of your work!

on Jul. 19 2011 at 4:32 pm
LynellePoet SILVER, Newington, Connecticut
7 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Well, it had a picture of the pain and the way people feel so helpless and low self esteem. The last line. And, i did not understand if her obesity turned into anorexia in the middle there... where it says about frail bones. I thought it was possible it meant that, but probably not. It changed a bit throughout it, which made it better, although this is just a very ugly picture and i don't like it for that reason alone: meaning you did an accurate representation because really, most people would not want to read about someone's horrible disorder, because it is, horrible that is. - Please comment on one of my poems i have a few of them you can chose- thank you.

on Jul. 19 2011 at 2:16 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 351 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

this is truly great. i too, loved how you showed the part that is is not only the body that is wasting away, but the joy of their life and personality. great job!

Emily.L GOLD said...
on Jul. 19 2011 at 1:55 pm
Emily.L GOLD, Gilbert, Arizona
10 articles 12 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us. Even if it's not what we want, at least it's something. " -Sarah Dessen

I loved the final line. 

'You are a disorder.'

That's just perfect (:

on Jul. 19 2011 at 1:22 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
thanks for the advice! [:

on Jul. 19 2011 at 1:12 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments
I love it, but I think you should break up most of the lines. Like the fourth line from the bottom. And that one is easy, just break at the commas.