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Each day, you’re wearing away
Your flesh and your fat; your mind and your soul
Pound by pound it rips away pigments of who you are
Days spent counting calories and fighting them off
Until you are only a body, nothing to suggest there is
A person cradled inside of those frail bones
And what person starves them self of all happiness
in search of happiness?
You wake up, and repeat the actions, like a skeleton set on autopilot
Food; trash, fingers; throat, body; sweat, eyes; cry
There is nothing left of you;
You are a disorder



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jmccasanova88 said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 10:52 am
I liked it it had great vision and detailed i can really picture it in my head
 
xxlovinyouxx said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 11:46 am
like the imagery and how u portrayed the ed, good job
 
MoraleAsh said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 9:10 pm
It's written so greatly that I can just see that person wearing away! Great job!
 
akrreid said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 1:25 pm
Oh my goodness. Your last line, "You are a disorder", is so powerful :) This is truly a great poem about a very serious topic... great job!
 
Snake_Tounge replied...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 4:59 pm
Agree :) 
 
HanndyJess444 said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 1:15 pm
Amazing meaning, very deep and emotionful. Nice imagery and I really like lines 9&10 and the last line "You are a disorder". You wrote beautifully about such a tragic thing. Looking forward to more of your work!
 
Vicky11 said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 11:24 am
A very good poem, tackles a difficult issue very well, and I like all the imagery :)
 
Alon_Freevoice said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 2:28 am

I love, love, love how this is about starving and being 'skeleton'. :)))

Criticisms are already given so this is all I could say... I think.

 
Jesusfreak78 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm
P.S. trying to give contructive critism
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 5:29 pm
thanks, i appreciate it[:
 
Jesusfreak78 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 4:41 pm
The word choice was excellant, the rythem was good, although try to improve your structure. Other than that prettey good
 
samiasaskia24 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 2:05 pm
WOW! Touching!  especially like the third line!
 
Ashly said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 1:22 pm
i love this, it's so relateable. i suffer from anorexia. would you please check out my article on the effects of anorexia on teens.
 
Ashly said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 1:14 pm
i love this its so relateable. i suffer fro an eating disorder would you read up on my article "the effects of anorexia on teens?"
 
lockedkeytomyheart said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Absolutely beautiful!
 
Gigi142 said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 11:59 am
Love this piece! Very original. SO MUCH emotion! It was sad but true and it was truly an amazing piece of writing.
 
Cryswithaly said...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 7:35 pm
I love this poem!! I think i'll favortie it.
 
ritabelle511 said...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 12:35 pm
I think this is a fantastically written poem!  It's gripping and emotionally intense - I really like the ending (even though it's sad) because it totally works.
 
TwasBrilling said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 9:52 pm
I agree about the commas, but you really packed alot of emotion into this!!
 
NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 11:18 pm
The only criticism I have is your use of commas and semicolons in line ten. Other than that, love it!
 
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