Ours. | Teen Ink


March 8, 2011
By GirlLovingLife SILVER, Rocky Ford, Colorado
GirlLovingLife SILVER, Rocky Ford, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There are some secrets which do not permit themselves to be told."
— Edgar Allan Poe

Her last breath was her first.
After being alive for no more than a minute the angels had her in their arms.
In that minute she was
All ours

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This article has 3 comments.

on Aug. 4 2011 at 11:02 pm
lovetildeath GOLD, Virginia Beach, Virginia
10 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm selfish, impatient, & a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe

I like the relaxed feeling of the poem.

on Jul. 25 2011 at 9:51 pm
NorthernWriter, Fargo, North Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 326 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

Hi poetrygirl! The first line really drew me in. I like how the poem is very graceful and settles into a gentle ending, but the second line is a bit too much and sounds very choppy and not graceful like the rest of the poem. Try breaking it into two lines and use more soft language to keep craddling the reader into that soft ending .good job and keep writing!

on May. 26 2011 at 4:10 pm
HannahMM BRONZE, Rocky Ford,
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments
COOL!! Nice poem sissy!