Black Ice | Teen Ink

Black Ice

February 5, 2011
By lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
lilmartz PLATINUM, Perrysburg, Ohio
40 articles 5 photos 163 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live Life Like A Party That Never Ends

Stone cold heart
Sheathed in a hard layer of ice.
So thick a covering,
Nothing can penetrate
This protective shield.
An empty black abyss
With nothing left to give away.
Isolated deep within its closed cavity,
Sealed shut and never to be opened,
Frozen for all of eternity.
A gorgeous nightmare
Shining like crystals in the moonlight.
Barely visible but nonetheless dangerous,
As it sinks below into the depths
Of a bitter winters night.
Love will no longer melt
Your iced black heart.

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This article has 9 comments.

on Dec. 30 2011 at 7:48 am
Eshshah PLATINUM, Galloway, New Jersey
32 articles 31 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep." -Robert Frost

the poem is so dark, It sort of made my stomach drop as I read it- I really like "frozen for all eternity" line, It flows well for a non-ryme poem, but kind of gives me chills- only one thing ( the "barely visible" line seems a tad long.

on Jun. 9 2011 at 1:13 pm
Afanen PLATINUM, Santa Rosa, California
49 articles 0 photos 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"But you see, Meg, just because we don't understand doesn't mean that the explanation doesn't exist."

- Madeleine L'Engle, A Wrinkle in Time

This is lovely, I especially like the 'gorgeous nightmare' line. Two things: a) 'winters night' ought to be 'winter's night,' and I think the 'so thick…' line (just the one) is a little clunky and could use some editing.

on Mar. 21 2011 at 3:59 pm
emma0314 BRONZE, Arlington, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 9 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star." Friedrich Nietzsche

Very nice! I can tell that you really care about what you are writing :)

Camii GOLD said...
on Mar. 13 2011 at 1:07 pm
Camii GOLD, Miami, Florida
10 articles 0 photos 75 comments
I liked it!! It's really good! I like how it describes the heart and then it says : love will no longer melt your iced black heart.

on Mar. 6 2011 at 5:46 pm
LittleMidnight PLATINUM, Glendale, Arizona
28 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is but a book just waiting to be filled, you make your own story

I could really feel a shiver. I love this one its wonderful. I gave it five stars!!! Good work.

on Feb. 27 2011 at 10:09 am
amandap PLATINUM, Midlothian, Virginia
31 articles 0 photos 183 comments
the last two lines.... wow. I especially love the line "A gorgeous nightmare". The flow reminds me slightly of staccato, which I love reading, and it works nicely. All of the lines are mature and seem like they were given great amounts of thought. Five stars :)

on Feb. 26 2011 at 11:13 am
ChrisinTechnicolor BRONZE, Orange, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Imagery is good and the flow is nice.

The poem itself is straightforward and easy to understand. You're a talented young lady -- keep up the good work.(:

on Feb. 23 2011 at 9:58 pm
Internal-Love PLATINUM, Queens, New York
33 articles 3 photos 310 comments

Favorite Quote:
Nothing's black or white, its all just a shade of gray---

TI "Live your Life" ft Rihanna

Oh my gosh!! This piece is so pretty and mysterious!! You truly know how to weave words into your grasp and turn them into true poetry.

i was lost in your magical words!! They've got power, because they sure are powerful!!

on Feb. 22 2011 at 11:01 pm
Jule92xc BRONZE, Smithsburg, Maryland
3 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me..." -Batman

I really thought the last two lines were incredibly powerful. "Love will no longer melt/Your iced black heart." I think this is one of your best poems =]