Up in Smoke | Teen Ink

Up in Smoke

December 10, 2010
By archon GOLD, Mandeville, Louisiana
archon GOLD, Mandeville, Louisiana
10 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Up in smoke and out of time
If only you could see the kind
Of names that changed when you made time
To stop and share with twisted minds
To cry a river made of wine
Just stop your weeping, this is a time for keeping
Close to the most of what you hold dear
Or did that just pass from ear to ear?
Are you even listening?
Can you even hear?
Are you even paying attention?
Or did attention disappear.

Are you even aware of time?
Or of all the sums of tainted crimes?
Just sing your chant of a loss well timed
But ponder this
Don’t crawl on this
Be wary and don’t you dare stall with this
It’s not even worth the single kiss
Of love and death producing voiceless bliss
I know you know you’ll start to miss
When the brightest light comes close and...

And it pulls and you shove and screams hail from above
And you fall from black podiums
From dark speeches and your own teachings
That suck the memories from your own brain
So that you don’t have to face a reality, strain
So get up
Sit up
I know you’re about to give up

What is this, my point you ask?
You’re dying.
Don’t sign the letter off yourself.

The author's comments:
Any feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading!

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This article has 4 comments.

on Nov. 19 2012 at 12:15 pm
WideEyedAndHopeful SILVER, Calabasas, California
8 articles 0 photos 4 comments
  I really like this poem and the references used.  Good work and keep it up :)  

archon GOLD said...
on Aug. 6 2011 at 2:38 am
archon GOLD, Mandeville, Louisiana
10 articles 0 photos 39 comments

thank you very much lilmess :)

I appreciate it so much!!!

on Aug. 5 2011 at 10:18 pm
LilMess PLATINUM, Key Colony Beach, Florida
25 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
Everything we do we are bound to repeat. Thus, excellence is not a chance but a habit.

I love your writing! I've read a few of your poems now and I just love them! :) theyre just amazing sir!

hopelovepain said...
on Apr. 20 2011 at 5:34 pm
hopelovepain, Maplewood, New Jersey
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
The ones who say they love us are the ones that hurt us the most.

I like this! I don't see anything you should change, except that the first line in the last stanza seems a little too Dr.-Seuss-esque, but that's personal. Good luck and keep writing! :)