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These Lines
November 2, 2010
Those lines, dawning the page
With such elegance, yet rebuke
For the milky white
upon which they are set
The crawl, tenebrous in their act
To asphyxiate meaning
Yet the curves and twirls
Form so much more in the
Suggestive mind
That one mere character
Could shape the very life
Of one's mere existence
Cascades of grey and silver
Wrought havoc across the blue
For the blue felt
And in this feeling the blue shunned
The silvers and grey
As if they were only
Shadows from past trifles
Of so long ago
© Kathleen M., Rowlett, TX
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 4 comments.
FlyleafFreak DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 2 2011 at 8:27 pm
Wow, thanks so much. I mean, legit constructive crisitscm!?!?! Unheard of!! Lol, what I mean is thanks.
Maybe one thing to look at is your wordchoice with the word "life." (At about the middle of the poem.) Since you already said "existence," "life" is not necessary. Instead you could try something more descriptive, maybe "form" or "trails?" Just suggestions-- I don't want to put words in your mouth. :)
