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Ode to fork
Hello fork,
 baby
 how have you been
 what’s wrong darling
 you don’t seem your usual shiny self
 did I do something
 wrong?
 Do you not like the way
 I hold you?
 is that is?
 no
 I hurt you?!
 How so?
 I almost eat you whole?
 Bu-but that’s just a matter of
 Prospective
 Because you see
 You’re just so...
 petite
 But please forgive me
 I will promise to be more 
 careful
 Today I will caress you
 gently
 with my lips
 for you are my all
 I am nothing without you
 me without you is like a
 jacket with no zipper
 or a
 bowl of punch with no dipper
 or a
 nightclub with no stripper
 you are simply my all
 you fill my existence
 quite literally
 look at me darling
 I said look at me!
 don’t think I haven’t noticed that
 you cringe at my touch
 don’t think I haven’t noticed
 that you don’t smile at me 
 the way you smile at that god-damn spoon
 is your passion for me gone
 is it because I don’t shave my head the way he does?
 is it?!
 fine go
 I won’t keep you with me if you
 don’t want to stay
 oh! hello there
 spork...

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