Down Payment | Teen Ink

Down Payment MAG

April 19, 2010
By GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
41 articles 31 photos 116 comments

Scrape the asphalt
with those tires
that move the machine
that fuels the fire
that burns our time
spent in bills
of numbers that drive us
from an offer that kills –
let us escape,
let us ride free,
on material that takes us
where we want to be –
we all want the answer
so, is it so much to ask;
how much are we paying
for that full tank of gas?



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This article has 9 comments.


on Jan. 31 2012 at 6:35 pm
beautifulspirit PLATINUM, Alpharetta, Georgia
35 articles 0 photos 1401 comments

Favorite Quote:
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
--Eleanor Roosevelt

The poem has nice rhythm---a bit comical too. I can just picture the exasperated person at the pump, lifting their arms to the sky, screaming "Why???"

on Aug. 24 2011 at 10:34 pm
crimsonsilver, Algonquin, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 10 comments
I love the rythm that you keep through the whole poem - the flow is perfect. That's not easy to do!

S M Wells said...
on Jan. 15 2011 at 8:43 am
Well thank you.

on Jan. 14 2011 at 8:32 pm
GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
41 articles 31 photos 116 comments
I definitely agree. I live by honesty. Usually when someone asks me to critique their writing, I find it very difficult to say anything at all if their writing isn't good. But I try to say the most positive things. And your comment is most greatly appreciated!

S M Wells said...
on Jan. 14 2011 at 8:16 pm
Your very welcome. I find  it nice to have a coment apreciated. For I alwase speek from the heart. And therefor don't alwase say the most positive things. My own fault you see. I find it surprising that I get onlong at all in this world considering a find honesty esential.

on Jan. 14 2011 at 7:20 pm
GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
41 articles 31 photos 116 comments
Oh my goodness! You have no idea what your comment means to me. Thank-you so much, that's so nice of you to say, and to really mean it! I know a lot of people say that they like it just to be nice. Thank-you again!!! :)

S M Wells said...
on Jan. 11 2011 at 7:17 am
Not at all. I'm am very fond of poetry. I write it, read it and critisise it all the time. And I've read quite a few books of peotry by poular and out of date authers. So when I say yours is good I mean it. As I've plenty to compare it to.

on Jan. 10 2011 at 9:09 pm
GoldenGirl PLATINUM, Vashon, Washington
41 articles 31 photos 116 comments
Oh, wow, thank-you! That means so much to me! I dearly appreciate your comment, and I'm glad that you enjoy my writing!!! :D

on Jan. 8 2011 at 5:10 pm
SMWells PLATINUM, Carlisle, South Carolina
22 articles 0 photos 294 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some truths best left unspoken.

I read three of your poems. They were all fastenating enough to make me read the next. Your poetry has a delightful quality that both intoxicates and puzles the reader. I love it.


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