I do dearly, darling, miss you.
I will always remember the daily nights in the courtyard when you tried to save me.
At least you tried.
You are growing—you are closer than you think.
I can feel everything coming apart, I can fold his clothes in neat piles and remember his kisses.
I am so very tired, because I will keep fighting and he will keep fighting against me and my life will be war. My life is war.
This is a war win together, or sabotage each other
Everything was easy sweet and I can feel the cadence of the days when he stroked my knuckles like there was something underneath.
But mostly, you wouldn’t believe the pain that hid under the follicles of his eyelashes as he said “I don’t love you.” Did you see that?
He didn't think I could.
And I tried to soak it in as he grasped me tightly—he didn’t hold me, he didn’t hug me.
Over, over, like some bridge; over, over like some life.
if I had the love to give, perhaps I would share some with you. I am not selfish with such things, dear, I am not.