An Odd Serenity | Teen Ink

An Odd Serenity

October 30, 2009
By Tomorrow.maybe SILVER, Houston, Texas
Tomorrow.maybe SILVER, Houston, Texas
5 articles 3 photos 31 comments

They are clear yet unclear

like strange diamonds

that twinkle without light

A vague mix of anger, sadness, fear

expressions of my minds

they sadly dance in flight

In darkness they bask

to soften my demise

I let them fall willingly

and marvel at the secret task

to get my sought after prize-

An odd serenity.

The author's comments:
Hi! I wrote this piece 6 months ago when I was really depressed. Well, "write" isn't the right word. It burst out of me. It's describing tears, and my experience with tears, and how I feel peaceful in a weird way every time I cry. Please tell me what you think.

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This article has 6 comments.

on Jul. 6 2010 at 6:51 pm
wordweaver96 PLATINUM, Winchester, Kentucky
37 articles 2 photos 254 comments

Favorite Quote:
" It is not our abilities but our choices that show who we truly are. "
Albus Dumbledore

See, we really DON'T have anything to fear but fear itself!

This is such a good poem. It uses silvery, light language that makes a reader feel as if they know you. People can picture the salty droplets falling from your eyes, and imagine the feelings that provoked the tears. Good job!

on Jul. 4 2010 at 12:43 am

First I read the poem, I thought it was really cool and I didn't know what it was about. My interpretation was that it had something to do with sad feelings and I could relate to it. Then I read the thing underneath the picture to the left and, knowing it was about tears/crying, I appreciated the poem a lot more because it expressed "crying makes you feel good" in such an artistic way.

The rhyme scheme was unique too. Kind of hard to follow for me at first but I'm used to song lyrics lol. but after rereading for clarification I could get into it and understand it better.

The only thing i might edit was "anger, sadness, fear" and find stronger nouns that are more artistic and moreso convey the meaning that the rest of the poem does. Or maybe you used simple words on purpose?

Anyway, great job!

on Dec. 6 2009 at 9:06 pm
SilverDawn GOLD, Burnaby, Other
10 articles 0 photos 297 comments
Wow, nice poem! i can easily imagine it. great choice of words~

dule05 BRONZE said...
on Nov. 26 2009 at 7:37 pm
dule05 BRONZE, Kraljevo, Other
1 article 1 photo 102 comments
it's really nice and sad...I have that kind of odd serenity too and that frightens me sometimes because I feel indifferent towards anything...

on Nov. 14 2009 at 8:48 pm
NorthernWriter, Fargo, North Dakota
0 articles 0 photos 326 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Only dead fish swim with the stream"

i've felt like this before. when my world is just so small and dark it seems while everyone else is walking very happy and it seems they have wings on their souls while i have lead holding me down. good way to describe how if feels. i like the part about diamonds twinkling w/o light.

on Nov. 11 2009 at 8:21 pm
Fredwardness SILVER, Romeo, Michigan
8 articles 6 photos 211 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The stars are blazing like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun" -The Killers (Read My Mind)

"If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there." -George Harrison

oh yes now i feel stupid i did know which one this was....but cat I still luv it!!