Bloodshot | Teen Ink


October 19, 2009
By archon GOLD, Mandeville, Louisiana
archon GOLD, Mandeville, Louisiana
10 articles 0 photos 39 comments

I see a scene
Of bloodshot eyes and bloodshed culprits
Of life and of death
Of young and of old
The father kneels
As never before
The father weeps
As if all is no more
Blood sweat and tears
Mix all to form this
This scene of such hatred
This frame of what’s missed
A picture perfect place
That none wish to visit
This scene is of death
And of life
Or is it?
He kneels and he weeps like a child who’s been beaten
Though a child in this scene, has no place to be in
Not a child
Not a woman
Nor a boy or a man
Not a person or thing
Wishes to see these lands
This is the outcome
Of hate and of vice
This is of hearts
That freeze and cause cries
Those sick and the twisted
Feel sad even here
This is far yet so nigh
To hold something so dear
This innocent burden
This sinless of things
This is what he has to carry
This is what pain has to bring
I see a scene
With a child and a man
Neither belong
And none are left to stand
This is a nightmare
Not even a dream
This is reality
This is all that it seems
A man holds his child
Cradled in his arms
The blood sweat and tears
Trickle down. no more harm.
He screams and we weeps
For all to be heard
Not even he can be saved by all that was learned
A daughter lie there
Resting in his arms
Not a child should be placed
Anywhere where there’s harm
She has breathed her last breath
He feels nothing, not alarmed
He wears his last tear
In memorium here
Forever in his arms
He walks his whole life
Knowing all but what’s best
He treks through his history
Knowing none but what’s gone.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Aug. 8 2011 at 11:29 pm
shoelessjoe GOLD, Highland, Michigan
19 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when ther are footsteps on the moon"
"Instead of waiting for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain"
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"

this is an AMAZING piece i really loved it!!

on Jul. 12 2011 at 8:45 am
Writomania PLATINUM, New Delhi, Other
22 articles 0 photos 119 comments

Favorite Quote:
"What really does not kill you, will only make you stronger"- Kanye West
"If there was no electricity, we would've had to watch the television by candle light"- Joe Jonas
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. ~Henry Kissinger


I saw the forum thing and decided to check out your work!

Okay, for one, this is some intense stuff and i really enjoyed it.

For another, i guess the reason why TeenInk hasn't published you so far is that there are a bunch of typos in here.

Because they receive such a large amount of work, they don't have the time to deal with that stuff; you just gotta edit it out by yourself so that all the editors have to do is publish it!

For instance, You have written, 'a daughter lie there'.. i know this was an unintented typo but still, you gotta be careful.

I really liked it though! Keep writing!