i.               Birth of Venus

Is your nudity a symbol?

For love and romance.

Are you in love or romance?

I’m in the west breeze and flying roses.

Do you feel cold in the wind?

That’s why my handmaiden tries to dress me in a red gown.

Do you feel insecure because you are a nude pagan in Italy?

I feel dizzy from standing on a scallop shell that could flip over at any time.

A new pose designed by Botticelli?

No, contrapposto, a cliché.

ii.              Venus of Urbino

Are you cold?

No way, it’s humid Venice.

What makes you blush?

The weather, last night, and the roses he left.

What are the maids doing behind you?

Tidying my clothes for the wedding.

Are you confident in the man you’re going to entrust your life with?

Yes. The dog is the testament of fidelity.

What does he do to make you rich?

He trades with China, Persia, and Mongolia.

Your wedding is a month away. Where does he go?

Persia. He said he would come back with the fastest horse.

iii.            La Grande Odalisque

Your spine looks unnaturally elongated.

Blame Ingres. He says Turkish men like rubbery women.

How did you make it to the Ottoman Empire?

I was wretched. They sold me to a rich Sultan.

Do you ever miss your family?

I don’t remember having one.

Do you enjoy your life here?

Kind of.

What do you like the most?

The peacock fan.

Do you have any hobbies?

I smoke from my pipe.

iv.             Olympia

What’s your real name?

People call girls like me Olympia.

Did you buy yourself that bunch of flowers?

Nay, it was given by one of my patrons.

Does your maid have a name?

No idea. She speaks awkward French. She doesn’t pry.

Who are you looking at?

You?

I mean, who were you looking at?

You mean those bald gentlemen from the Academy.

Are you afraid of losing your charm and job one day?

I’m more concerned with not being able to live until that day. Just kidding.

v.              The Coiffure

Are you undressing yourself from a day of work?

Quite the opposite. I’m setting off to work.

Do you do your hair all by yourself?

With a mirror and a couch.

You like pink a lot.

Men say women can’t handle more vibrant colors like red and blue.

Do you agree with that logic?

I think the best quality of women is humility.

Would you teach your daughter humility?

I would teach her to sit up straight in an ukiyo-e print if she’s allowed.

vi.            The central woman of Les Demoiselles d’Avignon

Did you serve Picasso?

Several of my sisters served him.

Was he bold?

They said he was old.

Why do some of your sisters wear primitive African masks?

Men like something unconquerable. Danger is beauty.

Is it? What kind of danger?

Syphilis in the age without antibiotics. 

How do you attract men with your fragmented body?

My body jars their eyes.

vii.           Woman, I

Did Willem paint you hastily?

He painted me in a hurry of three years. 

But your bulging teeth and eyes are ferocious.

I don’t attract men with those.

Then you must be a respectful model of independent women.

Men are attracted to my gargantuan breasts, which speak to my fertility.

Are you offended?

I’m aggressive.

Do you think your aggression scares them off?

I think that’s what they are obsessed with.

viii.          Nukuoro Female Deity

Why don’t Micronesians sculpt your face?

I’m a concept.

Do they commemorate you?

With flowers and fruits.

But how do they tell you from other deities?

How do I tell you from other visitors?

I’m concrete. You’re geometric.

We are both organic.

I can see but you can’t see.

Really?

You don’t even have eyes.

Can you see everything with your eyes?

At least I can see things more than you do.

Who knows but that, on the lower frequencies, I speak of you?