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I am a Sculptor MAG
June 30, 2009
I am a sculptor
with quick and helpful hands
shaping my poetry (slowly)
to what I want it to
look like
sculpting my mind
onto paper
pushing around my dreams
until they fit in order,
the perfect shape.
© Kayla C., Burlington, NC
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 8 comments.
kiwipuppyluv GOLD said...
on Feb. 12 2010 at 4:19 pm
Thank you everyone for the comments and suggestions, everything is helpful! :)
wind'schime SILVER said...
on Aug. 22 2009 at 9:08 am
i like it.it describes everyone on teen ink pretty well.
Schubster said...
on Aug. 9 2009 at 1:16 am
great poem :) i think the title fits everyone on Teenink. again, great job and keep writing.
Eilina Sealtman SILVER said...
on Aug. 9 2009 at 12:02 am
I think when you wrote "shaping my poetry (slowly)
to what I want it to
look like"
Having the "look like" on another line is incredibly tacky. It stops the reader in their tracks and makes them spew. But putting it in the line above gives it a great sense of dictation and dicipline.
Otherwise, its fantastic, and I really reccomend you keep going.
to what I want it to
look like"
Having the "look like" on another line is incredibly tacky. It stops the reader in their tracks and makes them spew. But putting it in the line above gives it a great sense of dictation and dicipline.
Otherwise, its fantastic, and I really reccomend you keep going.
MorningStar15 DIAMOND said...
on Jul. 15 2009 at 1:39 am
briliant? ITS WICKED! i <3d it tons.
<3
kayla
<3
kayla
bigdefenceman13 BRONZE said...
on Jul. 12 2009 at 11:01 pm
god this is briliant!!
montreal132 SILVER said...
on Jul. 11 2009 at 7:43 pm
The diction fits well with what youre talking about, however the words you used to say them with were not the best, in my opinion. Maybe an extended metaphor would be better here.
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