Millat Iqbal Syndrome

After many uncertain years

I have finally diagnosed myself

MIS

Millat Iqbal Syndrome

I was sitting in math class

Scrawny professor scrawling symbols on a screaming chalkboard

And that's when the silty soul of my twin brother drifted in

Masking my surprise I coughed into my sleeve

But when I looked up my soul tie had taken leave

My twin brother feared me at times

Which scared me

He bore witness to all my silent crimes

The sighing things I slaughtered inside our parents 

He washed my hands with tears, dried them with face

And when I couldn't sleep at night

My soul tie traced alphabets along my spine

Shook the syndrome out of me until I could align

My arms with my fingers my ribs with my tongue

He saw me

Dare I say we were similar

I, a hateful creature,

Teeth filled with tar

My twin a flickering star

Would gawk at a cigar

He drove women out my room 

With nothing but a stern finger

Was generally disgusted by me

And at the time I thought I was free

Free? religion is what you need, he told me

This bearded man called father whipped me

When I came home spinning

You rubbed pink salt in my wounds

As I sat surrendered over porcelain toilet 

Brother you kept smiling

Dragged pearly rattling bones home

Wrapped shoulders around my fetid decay

And pummeled my solitude with string sounds the next day

I met God in a matter of months

I still don't know him as a brother

I am his spiteful son, I suppose I have no mother

In dreams I clip my twin brother’s angel wings

And laugh at sun’s shadow until I have draw myself to tears