TRIGGER WARNING: eating disorder

the evening pours down on me

ginger as the tea, gold as the honey

i've let drizzle into my mug

russet as the sauce

i've made

plate of pasta, red as blood,

i see it too as gore

the murder of me,

the body i've wrung

dry and brittle as dust

my tea is poisoned

with 64 calories,

steams gluttony into the air

all the world's spices

could not disguise

the scent of fear

i feel faint

i steel myself,

grow roots into the ground,

and remember that i am an animal

a mass of a billion cells

only trying to survive

and that my ancestors

never knew the delicacy

of honey and tomatoes.

it is not a sin

to eat, i pray,

taking a bite.

it is not a sin

     to eat.