It was February 13th

me and my lover 

just two kids roaming the aisles of Target

among us were 50 boys

with the same three things in their arms

a heart shaped boxed of chocolates

flowers

and a cliche card- unsigned

my boyfriend recognized one of them

the strange boy with his arms full said

"thirty nine dollars for some head!"

my lover laughed

it was as if i wasn't there

I've never felt more invisible

i was viewing wild animals in the wild

two dogs slobbering

in a garden of roses 

collecting the thorns

i looked at my boyfriend with my doe eyes

i knew he would never say things like that

i knew he got me those things out of love.

right? 

we left the consumerism prison 

the thought stayed however

he's not like them.

he loved me right?

it was February 13th. 

He kissed me goodnight 

I walked through the front door 

reminding myself

he's different 

he loves me. 

I made him a card by hand

with not 1 not 2 but 3 rough drafts

i packed his gifts 

each one meticulously picked 

based on conversations we had 

places we've been

his interests

each wrapped in tissue paper

small red hearts on a plain white background

carefully packed into a pink bag

the thought of his reaction could make me squeal

He dropped me off at school 

he went home

he said he didn't feel good

i comforted him

I waited for a thank you

it must have gotten lost in the mail

i checked his location

he was at Target. 

I wished he was some where a little more mysterious

so i could picture all of the things he might be getting me

he was at Target. 

except today it was February 14th. 

he must really love me. 

right?