A hold on to an illusion 

That's what you are 

I think 

I’m confused

I thought I was over you

And for a time 

You no longer crossed my mind 

Well

Not often as you used to

I no longer cared about you

Or so I thought

But everytime I look in your eyes

I still feel a pull towards you

I thought I was over you but now I wonder

Am I?

Or could it all have just been an illusion in my head?

Could liking you 

Have been a way to hold onto my childhood?

You see when it comes to you

I’m confused

Did I actually like you?

Did I like your awful jokes you told?

Did I like the freckles you had?

Did I like the kindness I saw in you?

Or was it an illusion?

Was it the innocence that kept me hooked to you?

Or did I actually like you?

Even now after seven years

I still feel nervous around you

Every time our eyes lock 

I wonder if you might like me to

I wonder if you know

I wonder if I’m just using this crush on you

To hold on to an innocence I lost a long time ago