My head hurts.

It’s the new year but I don’t feel new.

I feel so old. 

I’m too old to act like this, I’m too old to be like that. 

I miss my friends, only 30 minutes away but it feels like miles and miles and miles.

There are days I wish I looked forward to school again. I want to be known, but not by all these people. They’re so new, so unfamiliar. I want to go back.

My mood drops, my grades follow. 

I quietly wish for companionship, because I know being loud will only chase others away. Will only make me look pathetic in a sea of struggles.

There’s worse out there.

Expectations climb. I don’t.

It was finals week once. I tried, I did.

It wasn’t enough. But I really did try.

I was so smart once, so full of potential.

But as I sit here in a pile of self pity I wonder what could be.

I’m so scared.

My head hurts.