When I look in the mirror I see a smile

My smile

Not a fake, trying to be happy so people dont know im sad kinda smile

A real, genuine smile

A smile that can make other people smile

A smile that makes my parents say “wow 

you look really happy”

A smile that makes my friends know everything will be ok

A smile so strong that you can see the happiness in my eyes

A smile I used too hate

But now a smile I love

And I don’t care if my teeth aren’t perfect

And i dont care that my smile is so big that you can see the lines on my face from the cornes of my mouth

I dont care

Because im happy

And thats all that matters

My smile may just be a smile to you

But to me

My smile is strength, resilience, perseverance.

When I look in the mirror I see my struggles ive overcame and the all of joy I’ve gained.

Its not a fake smile used to hide pain

Its not the type of smile i do when my mom says “go take a picture with your siblings”

Its not the smile I do when i find out i got a good grade on a test

Its the smile I do because I’ve finally accepted myself

my teeth showing

My eyes squinted

My heart projecting genuine happiness

A

True 

Contagious

Genuine 

Bright

smile

So bright That even that even the stars can see it

So genuine and real that im always im being asked “whats making you so happy?”

And the answer is…

Me.

Im making myself happy

Im proud of my self

And for the first time in 4 years

I love myself

I accept myself

And my smile is real.

And of course my friends make me happy

My family makes me happy

And all of the things I love make me happy

But now I love myself

And I can make myself happy too

These past couple weeks have been the happiest ive ever felt in 4 years

And I can’t exactly tell you why

Other than

I started focusing on myself and loving myself

Days and nights spent in bed staring at the ceiling, numb

Have now been replaced with FaceTimes with my friends laughing so hard that my sister says “Skylar be quiet I can hear you and I’m trying to sleep”

and this may not be the best poem ive ever written

Or the poem that makes people say “wow skylar this is amazing, you’re an awesome writer”

But that doesnt matter to me.

What matters is that this poem shows my real happiness

The happiness I’ve been searching for for years.

Real, true happiness.