girl (see also: ocean tide in an embryo) | Teen Ink

girl (see also: ocean tide in an embryo)

July 10, 2022
By vfds457ueirfp BRONZE, Pleasanton, California
vfds457ueirfp BRONZE, Pleasanton, California
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

life: a promise floating in amniotic fluid, a cluster of cells not yet scared of the light. your mother gave you to the world, vernix, tufted hair & all. pudgy limbs cast in hospital fluorescence. in the spotlight your body does not feel like it is yours. & even now, you blame your mother for giving

because she taught you to do the same. you give yourself away to repay her debt & yet greedy fingers still count the price of a mother’s love. [of a mother’s life.] drown eardrums with the whispers of boys with dead ladybug eyes & a heart like the shell of one. they cling to you 

like flies to honey. the feeling of being wanted reflects off their eyes and into the mirror of yours. & you add a page to your mother’s book: let kisses boil the tendons at melting point & watch as their wings get stuck in your skin. the buzzing will quiet. [you think this is

the closest you’ll ever get to flying.] the closest reality wrung from fever dreams where you find your soul still lost in thought. a minute of bliss at the ATM - bones crackling like coin deposits before the red blinks back at you. [in elementary school, the teachers told you to leave

your mark on the world. & they didn’t account for you, the quiet girl with mousey hair who came crying in the ER not because she couldn’t speak, but because she knew she was marked. a girl with her job already done & yet years of feeling unfinished ahead of her.] this you do not know:

your mother’s handwriting, her scrawl, her signature. instead there is a checkbook signed on the fabric of your mind. it is addressed to you: a promise made but not kept, an overgrowth of cells not yet turned to the darkness. a girl who is still an embryo when you look at the shadows.

& even now, you blame yourself for giving when only one had to. 

& even now, you blame yourself for taking from her.

The author's comments:

Tho Nguyen is a Vietnamese-American writer and a rising senior in the Bay Area. Her work has appeared in Kalopsia Literary Magazine, Cathartic Literary Magazine, and the Bitter Fruit Review. She enjoys (read: adores) the words of Ocean Vuong and Stephanie Chang, and is always on the lookout for new authors. In her spare time, Tho can be found in her room, typing a poem in dim lamplight, listening to artists she forgets the names of too easily, or staring at the night sky, breathing in all of what surrounds us.

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This article has 2 comments.

on Aug. 10 at 12:16 pm
Egycal52 SILVER, --, California
6 articles 0 photos 112 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Hats off to the past, coats off to the future."
- American Proverb
"Why do you keep hiding behind your mask,
When even the scars formed by your mistakes
are you own constellations?"

This is perfect..

Lydiaq ELITE said...
on Jul. 11 at 2:05 pm
Lydiaq ELITE, Somonauk, Illinois
160 articles 45 photos 1023 comments

Favorite Quote:
The universe must be a teenage girl. So much darkness, so many stars.

Wow! This should have been editor's choice.
Thanks for listing your literary journals, I just submitted to the Cathartic Review.