The American flag holds three bold colors

Red, White, and Blue

Each of them means different things, the blue preaches to the vigilance of one, the white

Teaches to the innocence it’ll bring, and yet there’s also red, those straight red stripes, 

Red means valor and hardiness or spilled blood

and it’s different

People’s Republic of China

With its red blanket and stars, red means harmony and luck

And yellow is perhaps less beautiful

It represents the communism in China

It’s like a remix of red white and blue

But it’s only two colors that represent other things

Just as bold

And has 5 bright stars instead of 50

And yet…

The fourth of July has never meant the same thing to me as it has to others on the same land that I walk on

To me, it means an evening of fun

With hot dogs and belting the national anthem and 

Oh say can you see

With snow cones and summer sweat with people with blankets around an empty parking lot

And Booms! In the night as the dark sky is illuminated with color as the fireworks shine

And Bangs! In the inky darkness as the stars meet a new friend

But I have never felt proud or deserving or even remotely connected to the blasts of color

As they parade through the air on a hot summer night

It is just but a place for enjoyment to me

Because I will never be solely part of the red white and blue land

With skies that are clean and people that are open to change

Well, some open to change

And blue lakes tinted with tears of happiness as some step farther in life

And red soil filled with the old blood of enemies that now grow and reap the benefits of a crop

And white peaks that stand steady in the middle of the vast land

And so 

The people who thrive in this land will never know

The things I feel on Chinese New Year

It is a feeling That only certain people will grasp onto

It’s red and gold and bright and shiny

With scents of pudgy boiled dumplings and 

Aromas of steamed pork buns

Mingled with the faint scent of the smoke of the firecrackers in the evening sky

And the crunch of sunflower seeds as the Spring Gala plays in the background

The feeling of family and peace within chaos

Is unbeknownst to most that I stand with

And the hopeful feeling and happiness of receiving a red packet

Complimented with the wishes of a good new year filled with hopes and dreams

Dance their way into everyone’s sleep as they lay in bed finally at peace

But these happy moments

My culture and I are what dig the grave of my own future

The memories of Chinese opera shows are what prevent me from succeeding as much as others

The memories of the taste of cabbage buns are the obstacles in my way

The others who do the same as me

Why is it that a white student in California with a 3.8 GPA

And a 32 on the ACT 

And 5 B+ on their high school record

With hardly any leadership roles

And 2 extracurriculars

Can get them into a sea of ivy leagues

When a student with a Chinese last name 

With a GPA of 4.8

And a 36 on the ACT

And straight A’s 

With so many outside clubs and events more than the stars in the sky

And leads so many projects and has so many hobbies

Get waitlisted at Pepperdine?

And yet still we are all expected to be able to

Play a classical instrument

Be amazing at everything academical

Be great at everything

Every single goddamn thing

And even when someone is less great they still have a better future?

When just 50 years ago we were viewed as filthy, undesirable, illiterate, and greedy?

And why do all people think that

If anyone has

Black hair, black eyes, and darker than fair skin

Our eyes must be as thin as the string of a floss;

That we eat dogs and cats for dinner every night;

That you can scam us, and yet we’ll scam you;

That the only sports we’re anywhere good at are martial arts

That Asian woman suck at driving

And Asian men are weaklings

Whenever you see an Asian man outside

That he must speak with an accent and have trouble with English

And that all of us are proficient in academics?

Proficient in this in that?

Why must we all be proficient in anything?

And why are we considered less discriminated against

When does all the above stand true?

And sometimes it gets too hard to balance

The firecrackers and the fireworks

Because one tells me to stand out

While the other tells me to fit in

I shouldn’t want to have the wish

to

Not have a race or culture, or identity at all.

It’s not fair

Of course, the world’s not fair

But why is it that even though

Both flags are striped with red from head to toe

Why do the white stars go against the yellow stars

Why is it so hard to see

With a bit of Luck, Harmony, and Valor

We all have a little red in us

From out blood

To our flag?