I swallow 

my thoughts. 

Each sip is 

the last.

This rattling hive 

inside my skull.

A bitter 

syrup dribbling down. 

Swollen throat.

An inflammatory

Surge. 

Melatonin. Ultraviolet.

My veins 

sounding sirens for 

antivenom.

I search for 

it in the stillness

                                                   the incessant buzzing. 

The halos around

the windchimes outside 

my window.

a wavering smoke 

rises, from the                           distant burning pile.

the litanies that 

sting and

Tear the once 

                                                tender blisters of my mind

So often. that

my heart calloused 

transformed into a thick-

rinded blood 

orange shriveling 

around a pallid 

pit of chalk.

this blankness broke

my bones.

kneaded my flesh 

into a 

catatonic 

clay doll.

numbed me to

the knife,

twisting within