I lean against the bathroom door as I close it with a sigh

my breath shakes

I grab the lip of the sink

my head down cast, my breathing worsens

I look up and admit to myself I am cracking

splitting at the seams

I stare at the mirror noticing a twitch here

a wrinkle there

Slowly, I am breaking

I folded myself into a perfect paper girl

my skirt just so

my ridges and slopes aligned

every fold exact and precise

But inside of this girl is a torn heart

My paper mask folds

crumbling like a discarded flier

I see my superficial exterior crack

Alone

I let myself break

Footsteps on linoleum

a slight pause outside the door

I wipe my eyes and replace my paper mask

I lean closer to the mirror, pretending to fix my mascara

adjusting my lashes and rubbing under my eye

The woman finds a stall and continues on her way

Silently I curse myself

angry at how easily I had broken

angry at how fast my mask had crumpled

angry at myself

at how fast I can hide my emotions

at how fast I can make my tears dry

one moment a shredded paper dress

the next, a perfect paper girl

A talent some say

others call it a git

It's a beautiful curse

an ugly blessing

No one notices me replacing my brittle mask

No one watches me patch the cracks

No one see no one hears

No one knows

A simple "I'm sorry" or "I know how you feel"

a hug maybe

an acknowledgement

Something

Anything

But how is a hiding girl found?

I meet the eyes of the sad girl in the mirror

slowly, I watch her face lose it's strength

I see her burdens crumple her face

the friendships lost

the hearts broken

the deaths

all of it bubbles up and flows down her cheeks

I see the real paper girl

a small sodden mess

her imperfect folds

her worn edges

her wrinkled shirt

The paper girl hunches forward

She shrinks slowly inward

A broken girl with a crumpled paper mask