Definition

Bipolar 2: A type of bipolar disorder characterized by depressive and hypomanic episodes.

The technical definition.
Different for everyone,

The conscious, or the guilty. 

For others it may be just a small argument amongst two people.

But for me it's wanting to be unconscious all hours of the day, 

So nothing can go wrong. 

So I can't do anything wrong. 

For me it’s being the innocent, but being gaslighted. 

There shouldn’t be one definition for every single thing that every single person needs to listen to.

Everyone should be able to claim it however they want. 

My definition.

I want to wake up. 

But I don’t.

I want to go out with my friends,

But I can’t.

I want to stick up for myself, 

But I won’t.

Because deep down, I know she has no control over her own mind. 

Put yourself in her shoes. 

I keep telling myself that, but I’m scared. 

I’ve always been afraid of what pills can do to a person, 

But it makes her all better.

But she’s afraid too and I have to keep that in mind,

so when she throws things at me, yells at me, cries at me,  and won’t talk to me…

How am I supposed to feel? 

I don’t.

Because it’s not about me. 

It’s happened so many times I can almost read her mind. 

I know what she’s going to say before she does. 

The doctors call it her “manic episodes”

They make her sound insane. 

But everyone has their bad days. 

 & on hers she’ll sit there and say

How much she cares and appreciates me, 

But as the clock ticks every second she grows angrier and angrier. 

I don’t know why, nor do I want to. 

So I just sit and listen because sometimes that's all she needs.  

Some will say that's not listening, 

But I do because that's my definition. 

When you find out someone is sick it changes your perspective. 

It changes them in your mind.

Whether you admit it or not, it happens.  

She’s not a maniac, she’s my mom. 

And that will always be my definition.