i wish the bruises would fade 

so i can love you again

without remembering 

i wish the scars would heal

so people 

will stop asking 

i wish i knew 

what was inside your head

when you look at me like that

knowing nothing of how you see me 

in your own mind 

i wish i believed you 

when you told me i was beautiful, and loved 

and not a burden 

i wish i had a reason to believe you 

but i don’t 

i wish you knew 

how much you meant to me

even though i’m but a page in your book

and you have your own chapter in mine

i wish you’d understand 

your manipulation 

is the reason i’ll always have your back

even when you have a gun to mine 

but most of all i wish

i could tell you these things