Just A Scared Little Girl, Too Imperfect For The World. | Teen Ink

Just A Scared Little Girl, Too Imperfect For The World.

November 20, 2021
By Anonymous

There once was a girl who 

thought she wasn’t good enough. 

That she lacked talent. And 

kindness. And compassion. 

That she lacked the smarts

and the thoughts and the habits. 

Each time she told herself that 

She wasn’t good enough, the more and more convincing it became. After a while, she had a record of everything and anything she lacked: 

Personality

Looks

Style

Thoughtfulness 

Being brave

Trying anything new. 


The list went on, and on, and on. 

It was like a collection. She gathered more flaws everywhere she went. If she saw a street performer, she now lacked musical abilities. If she met an accomplished profitable person, she was not successful enough. 


She started a list. After a page was filled with flaw after flaw in scrawny, illegible handwriting, she glued a new page on. 


Every time she pushed the glue stick a bit too hard and it curled out, a new word for clumsy appeared on her list.


Inelegant

Gawky

Graceless 

It became an obsession to find


Every 

Single

Flaw 

 

She possessed. And it shattered her into tiny, delicate shards. 


Her self-esteem was absolutely obliterated. 

Her state of mind had long ago crumbled. Reality was perceived with only one goal: to wrench every single little imperfect smudge from her. 


She found herself on top of the mountain. It was supposed to be unintentional. It was clear by now, she was going mad. But was it really that… unintentional? 


The trees were so flawless. 

Crisp. 

Exotic. 

Sharp. 

 

The wind blew softly. So, so softly. 

It was… perfect. 


And oh, how the thin layer of fog made it seem like a fairytale. 


Except, this was no fairytale. It was such a hopeless case. Splintered. Crushed. Ruptured. Ever so… broken. 

The girl stepped forward, admiring everything. The innocence. The captivation. The perfection. 


What was a broken, discarded being doing here, up in this fairytale place? It was like a disgusting wad of gum that was stuck on your new white shoes. 


So the girl laughed once. Not more, not less. For a second, that single, stand-alone second,  she asked herself questions. 

Why was she here, atop this mountain? This was stupid. She should get down. Get away from this god-awfully perfect place. 


Get.  Down. 


But it was only for a second. It was like your breath on a cold day, puffs of vapor dancing in the air and then vanishing. The thoughts were there, then gone. 


She was back to being her broken, flawed self. 


She took a step forward. And jumped. 


The whole way down, even when it got hard to breathe and a few teardrops fell from her eyes, she did not once make a noise or show any discomfort. 

Instead, she repeated her list. 


Personality

Looks

Style

Thoughtfulness 

Being brave

Trying anything new

Inelegant

Gawky

Graceless

Try-hard

Scaredy cat. 

Ugly

Stupid 

Screw-up.

Unthoughtful. 

Dumb. 

Unhelpful.  


Time was flying now. 

Was she destined for this death, or was this death destined for her? 


A few more seconds before impact, and her vision was scarce. 


And then, as she caved, she finished her list. 


“Just a scared little girl, too imperfect for the world. ” She whispered. 

 

And she was gone. 

 


 


The author's comments:

There once was a time when I thought I wasn’t good enough. That I lacked everything. Eventually, the whole thought of “not being good enough” subsided, but the idea was still left in my head. And when my English teacher said we were going to write poetry, I'm going to be honest. It was not a magical, Oh my god, I know what to write about moment. It took me a few days to realize that this is what I wanted to write about. A real-world struggle that might have really mentally affected a character. And even though it was brutal, I ended up changing the entire direction of the poem and including what would have happened if the “not good enough” thought went way too far and really put a dent in the change of events. 


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