tears streaming down my face

wishing it was a spotlight

not headlights waning away

though silently i sob, i ask why

why can't they hear me?

why can't they see me?

why can't they feel my pain? all of it?

why can't they?

they lost as much as i did, if not more;

am i in the same stage as before?

that 4th step keeps knocking on my door

that 4th sep crushes as it ascends 

i thought it was closer to acceptance

i begin to once more question-

am i distracted or distanced?

have i missed facing myself and this grief

or refuse to accept that he's gone.

that they're gone.

that they'll always be gone. 

they'll always be gone...

they'll always be gone.