11:11 and I have no wish to make 
Eleven days since mama died 
Sunlight disperses in the lens of my eye
I see the seven colors evaporate 
A filament is switched on 
But nothing glows 
Somehow the blank specks of time grow 

There's this girl amma thought was my best friend 
But you see, she knew 
She knew I looked into her eyes and they would soften mine 
it's the tenderest they've been 
She saw my hands holding hers 
For once, they weren't littered with scars 

She took me to see my mother 
We planted her favorite kind of lavender 
Something had to fill the space of her warmth in my palms 
I carried some sienna back
I went back to a home with a broken thermostat 

Paint your pain a friend said 
I can't promise that I tried 
I enamor at the swirls of liquid - a proud unintended artist
A pool of sienna swells in the sink as I watch the brine drain from my veins 
They say grief is love with no place to go 
Then I guess my being is grief too 
But the blood I've kept entrapped can flow 
So, rationally, I let it go 

My body is a cathedral; 
The dead and dying sit hollow 
yet weigh down on me
I'm watching through the water I'm trying to flush back 
Right then I couldn't help but commend 
Shakespeare for Ophelia 

The ghost of childhood past sits cross-legged in my chest 
She recites poems with profound ideas 
I find it charming how oblivious she is                                                                                  I watch her regurgitating Wilde or Bukowski or someone                                                    I'm teetering on the edge of choking her 
So I give into the impulse 

I feel invincible;                                                                                                                Ready to pirouette and challenge God to a duel
I smile an accomplished smile 
I've met my God; looks like my reflection.