I am supposed to be the happy guy, remember? Only optimistic? 

Giorgio, the guy who looks at the bright side of life all the time.

Yeah, there is a reason for that. 

Sure, fine, ask me what's wrong. 

For starters I do not know. Plus,

If I did, I probably would not say anything because it is not a good enough reason to be sad. I can’t complain about life, I would be ungrateful if I did that.  I am blessed and I know that, therefore I feel like I can not be sad. I need to “toughen” up.

My mind changes thoughts like a person changes their shirt. 

One day I will feel like I can’t be stopped, king of this pointless world.

Others my heart and mind feel like a tiny boat being engulfed by a fifty foot wave. 

Who can I open up to? 

Family?

Sure but then they would be worried non stop, can’t have that. 

Friends?

Most would make jokes about it because I am a man and that somehow means something. 

Sure I have some I could talk to. However, they have enough on their plate trust me, they do not need my stuff.

I am tired of it all. This same routine. This same game we call life.

I'm stuck on repeat.

Everyone relies on me. Or at least I think they do. 

So many talk about how I bring them joy and a good mood.

For that I will keep a smile on my face. 

Not acting the part however.

Just pushing off my emotions like the last slice of cake that you save for midnight.

I want to help others and make them happy, and in the end that will help me too.

But in the meantime,

No, I don’t wanna talk about it.