i was always so jealous of how the rain trickled on her ivory skin

how the moon gave that little bit of sparkle in her eyes

the way how she could look so pretty in that effortless bun she made

how her voice sounded like an angel sent from the heavens above

but while with me, i could never be like her 

i could never be able to pull off a bun like her

match my voice up to hers

i could never have that perfect, flawless ivory skin 

her goldish brown locks of hair that would fall in front of her face

her giggles that could make you smile the way that i never could

you'd always talk about her with your friends more than you would ever talk about me

i get it, she was there longer, but i was there when she was not

i may not of been the best or the brightest, but still gave you my heart

i opened up, while you hid things from me, people told me but i never knew if it was true or not

it had always been clear that you had true feelings for her and never me 

you did say that you loved me, but i knew deep down your love was much stronger for her 

i never looked the best, had that perfect laugh or best smile

but i always tried my best for you

i put down my own happiness to make you feel better at night

things took a turn for the worst when i got fed up with it all

i started doin' things to make me happy, but it made you mad

you said that it didn't, but i knew it did

i would always feel bad and would always run back to you 

you said you would change but it never happended

i know at times i wasn't the great

but what did you do?

you acted like you were the victim 

i was the one who did the bad things, but i admited to them,

which i said i am sorry for, i know that wouldn't help nor change anything

but i couldn't do nothing else but say that i am sorry

which i was, truly

i did lie about some things, but that was for my own sake

but you did way worse, you may not of cheated but i was a rebound

throughtout it all you had feelings for someone else

you just thought i was to stupid to see that, but darlin' you were wrong

it was my fault, i went back over and over

but i was so invested with our- my love for you, that i just could never leave

the day i left for good, was a day where i felt as if a weight had left

i was able to breathe the frest country air 

two months passed and you wandered back into my life

i was in a decent place for myself, for the first time in awhile

but you blammed me for something that i never did 

i said my truth, yet i was still blammed

then, every memory that i put so far down and tucked away came back to the surface

my cheeks became stained with tears

i pushed them back, for not even you deserved to see the pain

because you would've called me weak

maybe i was, but i would never let you see my tears that you caused

now here i am, worrying when you will pop up next

i am scared to give my heart to someone new, for i fear they will be just like you,

and i am not ready for it, i don't know what i would do if i am like that once again 

i know that i was never perfect for you, but she was

but that was never an excuse to be the way you were

all i know, i will rise above you and be happy where you could no longer put me down

that is where no one, not even you could bring me back down

i will be free from your grasp once again