i came out to my parents

i. i came out to my parents

my mom recommends that i choose celibacy to fend off god’s wrath

my father says we love you, we aren’t trying to steal your joy

but you did, but you do

because how could i love something so like me

made in the same image as eve, married in unholy matrimony

ii. a child does not know how the world works, a child learns from their parents 

i was 6 i was watching tv with my mom

the duke kissed the servant boy

my mother said that's disgusting that's not what god wants

i was 6 i sat in my bed

and i knew it wasn’t what god wants

but what’s god anyway to parents’ love

i would take their unconditional love over this god 

iii. i cried out to god hoping i could trade my lot

bashed on his door until my hands were bloodied 

promising i’d do anything to change

this scar on me

this festering wound

take it away please

my heart is lying on that springy leather couch

i am yours i am your daughter do you recognize me

iv. my parents understand this conversation decides our relationship 

they say all the right things

they say we love you

they say we accept you

they say even if we don’t see eye to eye on these issues 

my acceptance comes with a caveat

the baggage of the church

the disapproval of their friends

they say we love you though

and that's more than most of us get

afterwards my mom went shopping with her church friend 

and my dad worked on his sermon about persecuted christians