1.Looking at my phone for notifications

not from you but from him

You never called or texted

unless your sister told you too

He does it without asking

And he does it before me.

2.The smell of Sugar and old spice instead of cinnamon and nutmeg.

You smelt like me, while he smells like himself.

3. The roughness of his voice in the morning when we talked all through the night.  Or the way he says my name each time when I am lost in my own thoughts sounding like it is the best thing he is ever said.

You did not even know how to spell my name.

4.Seeing him every day. Sometimes it is just something quick and sometimes its for hours on end. You only saw me for 12 or less minutes a day. Sometimes never.  No matter how many plans I tried to make.

5.Knowing everything about him and him knowing everything about me in return.

You do not even know my favorite color. Even though it is the same as you. The lightest purple.

He even knows my favorite position to sleep in.

6.Inviting him to dinner and lunch and movies and just random things and seeing him interact with me and you only interacted with me if your friends were too busy.

7.Being touched.

You never touched me unless you saw your sister looking. He touches me whenever he feels like.

He pushes my boundaries but also keeps me safe if needed.

8.Thinking about him instead of you.

Because he occupies my thoughts in this last month than you ever did in the eight months we were dating.

9.Having someone who cares about if I am on the edge or if I am steady.

You did not care that I self-harmed. You never questioned when I cried or was upset.

You never even asked if I was ok.

10.Having someone who not just knows the good things but are apart of them.

In the month that he and I have been best friends

He has made me feel years of love and affection

But the 8 months that you had me….

All you taught me was to be okay with being by myself.  You taught me what a boyfriend should not be. You taught me that sometimes people are supposed to let go. You taught me that I do not deserve to be ignored.

You ignoring me gave me self-love.

You ignoring me made me go out and find self confidence

You ignoring me gave me my best friend.

You ignoring me gave me a better relationship

With myself.

You ignoring me…

Gave my someone

Who is now my new ordinary

My trust.

My respect

My goofy photos

My memories

My friendship

My love.

And most of all my time.