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All Day Long
All day long I hold back the sea
Wrestling with waves that are intent upon swallowing me whole
And still I push back
All day long howling winds claw at my skin
Commanding me to cease resistance and give in to the pain
And still I stand strong
All day long I pretend to have no weakness
Determined to prove that I can make it on my own
And still I hide my pain
At night I let the sea crash down
Engulfing me in the blackness of its crushing depths
I can no longer push back
At night I give in to the winds
Allowing myself to be torn apart and scattered in the dark
I can no longer stand strong
At night I let myself fall
Crushed under the weight of a thousand sorrows
I can no longer hide my pain
In the morning I am dead
Drained by the sea I can no longer hold back
All day long
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I wrote this poem when I was in quarantine, in the basement by myself. It was difficult to push myself to write, and I was struggling to gather ideas. But one especially hard night when I was lying in bed, a series of words came into my head. I sat up, grabbed a nearby notebook, and scribbled my feelings rapidly onto the first blank page. I stayed up later than I should’ve, piecing together my thoughts, writing and revising them. When I finally put it down, I had a new poem. The next day I typed it up and submitted it. I feel like this poem is one of my best pieces because I wrote it in the moment. It felt good to be able to just write what I was feeling in the moment that I was feeling it.