I remember

When my body trembled

When I couldn't speak

When everyone thought I was weak

When I thought of myself as shy

When I couldn't look at anyone in the eye

I remember

Hiding under his crib

When I was afraid of being alone

I remember 

Me on that rocking chair

As those anxieties of being alone faded away

I remember him climbing out of his crib, giving mom a headache, locking the door running off, running away, praying he doesn't cry

I remember having my bed next to my mothers

The thought of being alone was frightening

I remember

Becoming brainwashed

Being put alone

Being trained to take my anxiety away

I remember me crying

Every night before

I never wanted to go

I don't want to remember my crying

I want to stop crying

I can't stop crying.

I don't want to remember this