When I wrote this poem, a lot of bad things were happening in my life, I had a lot of deaths and sickness throughout my family. One after another, bad occurrences just toppled over each other. Then, my mom came in with tears in her eyes and told me my cousin killed herself. When I found out my cousin killed herself, it was one of the hardest and confusing moments of my life. It also really opened my eyes, wider than they ever have been. It was about the pains of stages in suicide. It really shook me up and made me realize a part of suicide I never thought was even imaginable, let alone true, about how hurtful and dangerous suicide is. It made me realize, that suicide is not worth it, at all. It hurts way too many people, promises are broken, families get depressed, everyone freezes themself and tries to make time stop, and everyone starts to wonder the big what-ifs. Everyone starts blaming themself. It´s just not worth it to put so many people in pain. When I found out my cousin killed herself, I immediately thought of her 4 little girls, ages 18, 14, 13, and 9, sitting at home picturing their mommy dangling by a piece of rope. I thought about what they were doing that night. Are they going to be able to get sleep? Are their faces going to be stained from their tears? Are they going to follow their mom´s, grandpa´s, and great-grandpa´s path? What is going to happen to them? 

    The main reason why I want to publish this poem is to try my best to prevent suicide as much as I can. I know it might be a little too graphic, and there might be worries or explicit content that will make it unavailable to not be published, but if it fits the criteria, I would like it to be published to open up eyes a little bit wider, and have people realize there´s at least someone on this earth who will miss you entirely; just because you can´t see it, doesn´t mean  it´s not true.

Thank you for your time and patience for reading this. It´s very appreciated.