The first memories that I have:

Getting our Great Dane,

Family reunions,

Going swimming at the lake “in” our backyard,

My parents getting divorced,

My dad leaving us, just like that.

Moving 2,000 miles away.

“I have to go,” he said.

So he did.

Then I remember the end of second grade,

“We’re moving,” my mom said,

My sister and I were ecstatic,

Then we found out it was with our mom’s new boyfriend.

Great… we’re moving again, I thought.

Third grade, amazing.

Fourth grade, even better.

Fifth grade, let’s not even go there

There are only three words for fifth grade

Drama

Drama

And more drama.

Then middle school.

The most awful transition said my sister.

It’s not that bad, my mom told me.

You’ll be fine, my dad said.

The one thing I feared,

no recess!

The day came, on the first day of sixth grade when I said.

“I forgot we didn’t even have recess,”

It really wasn’t the end of the world.

Wake up,

Get dressed,

Eat breakfast, 

Brush your teeth,

Run outside to the bus,

School,

Homework,

And sleep.

My daily schedule. 

There were home football games every other Friday,

I went to the first one and watched, it was okay.

Then the second one, I was walking with one of my friends.

Seeing the person that’d end up being my boyfriend for eleven months. 

I used to think it was the best eleven months of my life.

Finally the first day of seventh grade, August 22, 2018.

Do I have my

Binders,

Folders, 

Pencils,

Notebooks,

Calculator?

Yes, okay, time to go.

Science, then what class was it?

Reading, no.

Social Studies, no

Math! That was it.

Then art,

Reading,

Band,

Lunch,

Choir,

Language Arts,

P.E., 

Then social studies.

Now cross country then I can go home.

I wait for him and he walks past and ignores me.

What’d I do now?  I thought.

I just pretended I didn’t notice,

“How’s your day?” I ask.

No answer.

“Happy eleven months,” I say hoping to get his attention.

No answer.

“Hey?”

“What”

“Are you going to break up with me?”

“Just friends?”

Eleven months of memories forgotten in ten seconds, at least for him.

Not me, I remembered almost everything.

Love,

Heartache,

pain, 

Trying to forget,

Trying to move on,

Failing,

Then,

Finally

Succeeding.

Moving on from the person that made my head spin.

Nothing eventful in four months,

Then my birthday.

Finally thirteen!

Is this how it feels to be a teenager? 

Worrying about people pushing you around, but you don’t listen,

Because now you’re thirteen.

No, I’m not going to be bossed around by you even if you’re

Older,

Stronger,

Bigger,

Smarter.

Yeah you’re all that but you’re not all this, like me:

Nice,

More confident,

More resilient,

I don’t care what you say.

You try to break me, I build higher.

You try to hurt me, I get stronger.

You try to slap me with your words, I say thank you.

You try to drown me with pain, I swim

You try to blow out my light, I get brighter.

If you try to drag me down

 it means

 I am above

 you. 

That’s thirteen.