you tell me i have no emotion

i’m being too antisocial

but if i talked you don’t want to know what would come out

a piercing sharp sensation rips through my chest 

trying to get to the outside 

i pull on my face 

don’t let it move

because then you would see the vulnerability 

the one no one ever sees 

i don’t let it

i strain my face while 

my eyes release salty tears that have now drenched my shirt 

but i still don’t know what you’re talking about

and of course i’m okay 

don’t ask

i’m drowning in the gallons of sorrows and nightmares 

that burn at the touch

so don’t come closer 

but my face still hasn’t moved

and what’s left of my heart 

is now deteriorating 

the holes now astronomical wounds 

that can’t be restored 

i feel them

oxygen fills my lungs 

why can’t i be in the moment

like everyone else

what am i doing so differently

just help me

a little bit please

i let the oxygen go 

the thoughts don’t leave with it 

i can’t get them out

my stone face hasn’t budged almost bursting at the seams 

ready to let go feelings 

broken hearts

cries for help

and angry screams 

i blink 

tears stream down both sides 

my pillow is soaked

and if you asked

i still couldn’t tell you why