i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry

for being everything i wasn’t supposed to be,

in the end

i’m sorry that i’m “too nice”

so “nice” that sometimes i’m cruel

wracked with guilt about my dying feelings for you, i told you lies instead of letting you know that

i

just

didn’t

want you.

that is,

the version of you

that held my hand

and stroked my hair

and whispered sweet nothings in my ear

i have said

“i just need to be alone right now”

so many times

that it has become deja vu for me

when in reality

i should’ve just said

“i would rather

be your friend.”

so,

i’m sorry

so very f*****g sorry

to all the boys and all the men that

i have ever

let down.