it took me only  two hundred and forty-five days

    Twelve and a half hours

   Twenty- five minutes

    and thirty-seven seconds

But I can finally say it:

    I do not need you nor do I want you

I no longer feel the need to think about

    the way your hips moved the day you walked towards me to give me a hug because I was upset

    the way your lips move when you read the letters I gave you when you were upset with life and the existence

What I did to mess everything we ever had up

The way your hand felt in my hair as you flirted with me our first day together

   the way you always took your glove off in the winters cold

         before you held my hand so you could

         feel me being there with you.

I've utterly and  completely forgotten about

    Staying up till the middle of the night, saying to each other those simple words of

         I love you, I need you

    inside jokes no one else will ever get nor think are funny

    songs that made me want to dance with you and hold you for hours on end

         Making you want to kiss me immediately.

Laughing so hard noodles and juice shot out of our noses and not wanting to stop because we wanted the moment to last.

I can't remember

how your voice sounds in the moonlight at the beach near the palm trees telling me to come come closer to you so you could hold me against your skin

    how you always held my hand with my pinky finger on the inside so I felt protected

    how your bedroom would look when we cleaned it for 2 hours straight because you had cups and bowls everywhere

         How we lie awake staring at each other till the sun came up.

I can't exactly recall

   what we had said that fateful day, did we cuss at each other or were they all simple words

    what I was wearing, was it jeans or sweatpants, yellow top or  pink hoodie

 how long it took me to start crying and look away from you because I did not want to look so weak and wounded in your strong eyes

How many time you told me that you were sorry for hurting me and that you wish it did

not have to end like this

The way your face crumpled into my hands like I broke your heart and it was not the other way around.

It only took two hundred and forty-five days

    Twelve and a half hours

    Twenty- five minutes

   And thirty - seven seconds

    to finally take you out of the tiny folds and small creases of my brain.

But if you said you wanted me to come back to you like the earth's moon in the the days fresh sky

    Tomorrow

    or today

Next week

Or next month

    or 2 hundred and forty-five days

  Twelve and a half hours

   Twenty- five minutes

and thirty-seven seconds

From now,

I'm sure it would all come right back into my brain straight from the broken heart you gave me.

I Would think about

That one time played soccer in the rain and we ended up getting sick together

The first time you held my hand in public at the store

The first time you told me you loved me on the couch in the living room

I would completely remember

Those summer nights when we would stay up till 3 and sing disney songs

The time we pretended like we were married for a day

The ring you gave that I threw into the back yard

All those times

You kissed me on the cheek and told me you had loved me right before you left

You gave me a note everyday for the first 2 weeks of school because you knew that change was hard for me

I would cry in your arms but you always told me I was worth it and you needed me so

Because that is what you have done for me. You left me with the memories of our past love.

 So maybe give it

2 hundred and forty-five days

    Twelve and a half hours

   Twenty- five minutes

    and thirty-seven seconds,

And maybe, just maybe will Those memories truly begin to fade into the emptiness in the darkest crevices in my head.