Here I am playing this horribly dangerous game again.  I always end up losing but the fall is such a rush,

I'm an adrenaline junky and your my bungee cord and I'm about to yeet myself off this cliff. I find myself at the edge again, to jump or not to jump.

I always get hurt, always telling myself this time it ends differently, but nothing changes if you keep doing that same thing.

SO NO I Refuse I'm not jumping I'm staying right here. Let me savor the wind in my hair let me watch the sunrise.

You, you are dangerous and yes I see all the red flags but red flags look just like flags when you are blinded by the rose-colored sunglass of “ love”.

It's not that I don't like you its that I don’t wanna get hurt.

I always fall to quickly and always end up hurt because when they're supposed to be there to catch me they all disappear and leave me to my own demise.

My body made of porcelain, my heart made of glass, your love is a sledgehammer twas never meant to last.

It’s might be a poem but it speaks so much truth I'm fragile and you're a kid who can't keep his hands to himself. I know I keep talking in metaphors but it's the only way for me to accurately describe this feeling to you in a way you might understand.

Look I'm so glad I met you but my walls are built and there's no door to let you in nor a door to let me out.

Yet here you stand sledgehammer in hand ready to break it all down.

To start a new, in a world bright blue.

This poem is strange if you can even call it a poem more of free verse about everything I’ve bottled.

But I'm a romantic fool, I believe in love at first sight.

Your smile drew me in,

Your voice sent shivers down my spine,

You're the light at the end of this dark coal mine,

Trapped by my own hand doomed to a life of isolation purely because I'm scared

Scared is a funny word but for my feeling scared isn't strong enough I'm Petrified.

I'm at the edge of a cliff, do I jump or do I stay

Ever nerve screams at me to jump, I'm an adrenaline junky after all.

That constant craving for the rush, the air whipping around me as I free fall, so do I let myself do this again?

Can I trust you, I trusted plenty of others but they let me fall

you are you're different

Are you my safety net are you who I dream I'd find?

All these questions consume me, a big black void swallowing me whole leaving me alone and frightened.

Prince charming doesn't exist happily ever after is a figment of a childhood imagination it's unattainable.

I’ve dreamt of meeting my soulmate and I know I'll find them someday.

Are you swarmed with these questions, Is this unrequited, am I alone in this feeling?

I pray one day I can answer all of these unknowns

But here I am at the edge of a cliff, the air is thin and my chest hurts,

 TO jump or not to jump.