Two months have passed by
though it still seems like yesterday 
when I was racing to your house every day after school to see you, 
just so I could sit alongside of you in your red chair  
to hold your soft hand. 
Then the day came where you grew too weak to sit in your chair. 
You eventually moved to your bed 
and your bedroom became the new visiting and gathering place.  
I watched as dark circles formed beneath your beautiful brown eyes  
which soon became heavy. 
Your face became slimmer and lost the structure it once held.  
But your smile never changed. 
You still managed to light up the room, 
your smile has always been contagious. 
Just as I thought watching you physically become weak was going to be hard, 
managing my emotions was harder. 
You told me not to cry, 
that this was the circle of life, 
And God had a plan for you. 
Though I told myself I would be strong for you, 
There were many times I’d leave your room to venture off to the bathroom. 
Tears rolled down my face, 
My eyes burned from rubbing them,  
and my breaths turned to sobs.  
These breakdowns became part of my everyday routine.  
 
Even though family was always there taking care of you 
I didn’t want you to feel alone. 
I skipped lunch every day during school to visit you. 
One day in particular you were heavily resting. 
I gave you a kiss on your cheek and told you I loved you very much. 
I thanked you for blessing me with such a strong family.  
It was that exact moment I knew I was losing you. 

Alone in my car, 
I cried on my way back to school.  
I highly considered skipping class but I knew you would be ashamed of me for doing so. 
I made my way through the day. 
 
Then the night came. 
I was absent from your house. 
Away from my family. 
I was attending clinicals for a college class. 
When I walked through the door to my house my dad was gone. 
I didn’t think anything of his absence, 
I assumed he was visiting you just like any other day. 
I changed my clothes and was planning to come see you, 
until my mom told me I was too late. 
I’ve never cried harder than I did that night. 
I am thankful I skipped lunch that afternoon, 
little did I know that my last goodbye was then. 
 
Two months have gone by 
and the process of mourning does not become easier.  
I wish to sit alongside of you  
in your big red chair to hold your hand. 
and I yearn to seek your advice just once more. 
Although I know I’ve been privileged to have you in my life, 
I cannot help but wonder how I am going to move on without you.