I believe in the power of you

so many times

I put my trust in you

now I am damaged,

abused and refuse

to blame you.

how powerful your words were

I never needed a touch

your breath alone was enough.

I would question my insanity

But that would mean

Disloyalty to you,

My love.

My worries,

my catholic guilt

never seem to leave

and I know it is my fault,

 through my own most grievous fault

I’m sorry

please allow me to place my insecurities on the floor

for you to do as you like

like father, liked lover

body is use to abuse

just like my mother’s souls is use

to my father's quick yet deadly

hatred

Please don’t mistake

my tears, for help

because I am completely satisfied

with my very own coffin

please don’t pity me

I enjoy the hands

that feel like self-loath

clenching my body

I love the feeling of not being able to breath

please don’t see me

I love the way my blood gushes all over the floor

and makes a beautiful Picasso painting

Please leave me

Please don’t help me

Please

Please

Please

because I enjoy the unwanted skin on skin contact

 as much as I enjoy the sound of my tears at midnight