I learned from my sister to always ask

before taking an old sweater, heating up

someone else’s leftover chinese food,

or pushing curfew back “a few minutes”,

even if the answer will always

be no.

I learned how to find the quickest

route to the pharmacy when the

ADD prescription is low or you need an emergency

Ben & Jerry’s.

I learned to call home no more or less than

3 times a week, to hold on to grandma’s

$2 bill rewards, and appreciate hand me down

clothes when mom and dad have to deal with

out of state tuition.

I learned that I-80 is the best highway in

Iowa City to speed on when returning home

for your grandpa’s passing, and that the

World’s Largest Truckstop is the perfect detour to

rehearse your eulogy.

I learned a smile and a nod over powers an eye roll

when asked about your future, and that an

“I don’t know” sends an invitation for advice and comfort.

For every time you come home, go grocery shopping

with grandma to help with her grief and find the bread aisle,

reach out to your middle school best friend and go to your

old sledding spot, and get that oil change that Papa

used to nag at you about.