tonight, I bury nothing.

tonight, eyes open & open

             & open- I make myself a seer,

great prophet, priest- carve your

coming in stone, the day,

hour, second the world

fell at your feet.

                                                                        pulsing, thrumming

                                                                         blood of my blood-

                                                                                    alive.

so? what would you have me be?

make me a doctor, maybe,

some white-cloaked hero with magic thumbs

and a mind enough to split my skull-

tumors, sickness of all kind I will leave

begging, I will put a stopper

on death for you,

                               my keenest love.

                                                                     put me up on a podium,

                                                       give me medals and suits and a megaphone,

                                                    let me preach of wales, elephants and pangolins,

                                                  tigers and gorillas and rhinos these strange

                                             and wonderful creatures I will all bring             to you,

                                 let it be known the world was a rundown amusement park

                                          until your arrival, my sweetest boy

                                               how these broken rides

                                    will come alive.

yes, I'll be a mechanic of the world,

fix every f****d up mess, nuclear meltdowns

and wars & global warming, my spanner & I

will make right yes, for you. I see you gap-toothed

in my sleep.       never have I seen you bleeding, never

will I see you sick or prone between walls

never will you be boxed, and perhaps my touch

is something you'll never know but the hurt

of my absence is something you will find

to be grateful for.                                                          I give you innumerous blessings

                                                                          & I am not one of them. I give you a world

                                                                   without thorns, the bodies of bees without stings.

                                                         in the long list of evils I erase

                                                                                        I am one of them. I give you the best

                                                                   of myself and leave whatever's left

                                                   to waste.

I keep a picture of your ultrasound in my wallet,

you as a sphere of warmth in this       blood-close

                                                                    cocoon.

 I only ever see you in a place

where there can be no hurt, where everything

is provided & I

                                                            can't touch you.

                                                                                             in this tale of fatherhood,

                                                                                            I fix the amusement park

                                                         & leave.