My shoulder pressed into the cold

Bricks of the chimney the same way i

Would press against your own shoulder each day.

i could see my breath

As clear as i could see your toothy smile

And feel it blowing away my uncertainties.

But now i couldn’t feel a thing.

i couldn't bring myself to peek across at the moon.

In your absence the world seems dimmer. Maybe

It was the way the moon clung to what was left

Of the sun’s rays after it had gone

That felt too familiar.

Instead i watch my feet dangle at the very edge

Of existence. Bent in searching for level ground to

Find my footing on but the rock that has kept me

Steady for so long has vanished.

In its wake leaving a heavy ache in the earth.

Reminiscing and trembling

i hold my hand out into the vast

Nothing in front of me, pleading with fate that somehow,

Your hand would find mine and pull it to you once more.

But your hand isn’t here to guide me to safety anymore and my

Idle fingers tangle in the string that hangs

Off the pocket of your favorite hoodie.

Similar to the way my thoughts are tangled in decrepit and

Unholy intentions now. My mind every bit as clouded

As the rooms were while we basked in each other's presence.

We had giggled with complete euphoria until

Tears slipped down the crease of my eyes, falling

Out of view before it could splatter

Against the pavement where we had

Stood a million times to say our goodbyes

Completely embraced by the warmth of your arms and

A sun that no longer shone.

So here i am. Perched at the highest peak of this mighty castle.

With no sun or rock, no clouded rooms or giggles,

No euphoria and no you.

Just me.

Saying goodbye,

at that spot on the pavement

for the very last time.